© Sameer Raichur
Sameer Raichur’s diaristic photographs of life during quarantine find new meaning in the everyday.
In May 2020, Sameer Raichur's photo of a backlit and silhouetted figure standing between a floral curtain and a window stopped me in my daily, quarantined Instagram doom scroll. The curtain, billowed by a breeze, seemed inhabited by a ghost. It’s the type of dark, whispy photo that Instagram’s algorithm loves, but goes beyond a tropey reference to the obvious existential metaphors one might associate with Kevin Spacey’s film “American Beauty,” and into something more authentically self-reflective. Tenderness, fear, isolation, and so many more emotions neatly – but not too neatly - rolled into a single photograph.
Raichur's caption reflects the image's vulnerability, uncertainty, and softness. “Life seems to have settled into a rhythm during lockdown. A usual day involves visiting the same spots in the house and at particular times, chasing the light,” the photographer notes. For Raichur, it became an ongoing struggle against meaninglessness, a celebration of the moments that might not have registered in previous times.
“Checking on pigeons hanging out on the edges of our windows,” Raichur writes, “watching my curtain blowing in the wind and endless staring out of balconies and windows, praying for the unexpected.”
This is but one image in a series that illustrates Raichur’s often hallucinatory visual response to isolation. It brought up childhood memories, reexaminations of family life, and newfound pleasures in the simple joys he might not have appreciated otherwise. Nearly a year into lockdown, I connected with Raichur to learn more about how he uses photography to cope and stay balanced.
Jon Feinstein in conversation with Sameer Raichur
“Memory works in strange ways - my personal experience is that people have the propensity to recall painful life events for longer and in greater detail than joyful ones. To get through this, I’m hoping to be kinder and more forgiving to myself. Accessing the joy that is around us definitely takes effort but it might turn into an excellent mental roadmap for post-COVID life.” © Sameer Raichur
Jon Feinstein: It's been almost a year since we were originally in touch about your work. In that time, the world's gone deeper into the hole of the pandemic with notes of hope throughout. If you don't mind me asking the taboo question - how are you?
Sameer Raichur: The pandemic has brought out a roller-coaster of emotions. Maybe it’s because of sequestration at home for prolonged periods and the immense anxiety of the public health crisis unfolding outside it. A feeling of meaninglessness pervaded the initial part of the pandemic enforced- lockdown. I was having these really visceral dreams. Vivid memories from my childhood and adolescence were emerging from the depths of my mind. It was challenging to process this new suspended-reality. I spent most of my time reading, escaping into historical, fictional and biographical narratives reminded me that we were living through something unprecedented and that I should be kinder to myself.
Since then, I have made an attempt to adjust. Being able to see my friends and having that human connection really helped. A few of us started exploring the hiking trails around Bangalore, getting out of the cloistered city and into nature’s expanses was a huge relief! While the frequency of work is still far from normal, I managed to travel for an assignment a couple of months ago. That was much needed since this was the first paid work that came my way in 8 months!
Portrait of/in isolation. My father this time around. 20th August, Annus Horribili ©. Sameer Raichur
Feinstein: Last May, I recall being struck and immediately stopped in my Instagram scroll by your black and white photo of a silhouetted person standing behind a floral curtain. It's unclear who the person is, whether this is a self-portrait - there's a level of anonymity to it. It hits me deeply and speaks to the sense of collective isolation with such soul and power.
Can you tell me a bit more about this photo? What you were feeling when you made it?
Raichur: I wanted to reflect the threat of the virus in relate-able terms. Most of us experienced a sense of foreboding and loss, danger lurking just beyond our line of sight (‘wolf at the door vibes ?) What can be more terrifying than an unseen threat dictating our lives? The image is indeed a self-portrait. In hindsight, I think I photographed myself so much because I was trying to assert my identity at a time when we were facing this existential threat. Seems like it’s the same with photographers around the world - while acknowledging our helplessness, we were leaving a small mark of defiance.
Waning Moon and Sister © Sameer Raichur
“A Portrait of/in isolation. Sujata. We spoke about a lot of things during this session but what stayed with me is to have courage in the face of our own vulnerability, to have faith in our journey and trust ourselves. 28th August, Annus Horribilis.” © Sameer Raichur
Feinstein: Another photo that caught me off guard and I keep coming back to is your September 2, 2020 Instagram post (made on Aug 28th?) of a face and hand coming together in what I think is a window reflection. Can you tell me a bit about what you were feeling when you made this image?
Raichur: Part of my preoccupation at the time was to figure out if it was possible to continue to safely make work in the new social paradigm. So many of my friends were introspecting and reflecting on their place in the world during this time. It was refreshing to photograph my friend – Sujata, whose self-awareness and humility encouraged me to set aside my own ego, self-doubt and to trust the process, and enjoy the journey.
“The first time I reached for my camera during the lockdown was when a family friend called to tell us that Venus was proximate to the waxing crescent moon. I was never much of a selenophile and have on occasion chided my friends who claimed their moods are affected by the phases of the moon…I wonder how authors of future fiction would address the pandemic. I came upon this excerpt in a contemporary work - Ted Chaing’s excellent book Exhalation: stories - “the economy goes into a recession after the latest flu pandemic”. This particular story is set in the 21st century to my understanding. The quote is casual and matter of fact, did someone say ‘the new normal?’ ” © Sameer Raichur
Feinstein: Do you think the pandemic has changed how you "see" as a photographer, as a human, what you pay attention to, and how you reflect visually?
Raichur: Definitely, as the world around us changes irrevocably, I have accordingly aligned my priorities. I have endeavoured to make ‘slower’ and impactful work - never in my life have I felt the importance of community and relationships as I have during this time. Reconnecting with old friends and letting go of grudges have helped me grow emotionally. I have also realized the importance of adaptability and learning new things in diverse fields to keep the mind agile and pliable.
One change I made to my own life is to start going on really long walks. I also started learning German. Being in the classroom environment, even though virtual, was gratifying – learning something from scratch reminds you to not take yourself too seriously. Considering the shock that the sudden stoppage of work imparted to my earnings, I have also resolved to manage my finances more efficiently. To that effect, I’ve been trying to educate myself about personal finance and saving for a rainy day.
© Sameer Raichur
© Sameer Raichur
Feinstein: Quiet, yet brooding light seems to be a common thread in your work, but even more so right now, throughout the pandemic. Portraits and still lifes lit by available window light. Photos of the mundane elevated to existential. A pigeon outside your window, flapping its wings. These images are equally calming and traumatic. You often talk about how you're "grateful" for this sense of stillness.
Raichur: One only needs to turn on the news or read the latest figures in the newspaper to realize that hunkering down in a stable home environment is the best life is going to get at this time. I was grateful to have that available to me. It was a luxury denied to millions in India because of our ill-planned lockdown that led to the tragic migrant labour exodus causing untold misery to millions and carrying the disease to the far corners of the country.
Re: the light, I guess I am a serious, brooding sort of character so I’m not surprised you characterize my work in that way...
© Sameer Raichur
Feinstein: I think I might be too!
Raichur: Photographing in the constraints of home was a new challenge and it was a joy to discover the nooks and crannies. It also led me to think about how we routinely ignore the immediate and available. Had it not been for the virus, how many of us would have taken the opportunity to pause and look around our immediate surroundings to appreciate what we have? I think the big takeaway for me was to look for validation within me rather than relying on happiness due to external validation.
“A Portrait of/in isolation. Samyukta. The pandemic, for her, has been about settling into familiar rhythms that tend to get forgotten over the course of normal life. The silver lining was undoubtedly being able to spend more time with loved ones and that’s the real blessing considering life’s unpredictably. 2nd September, Annus Horribilis.” © Sameer Raichur
Feinstein: How does hope play into how you think about this recent work?
Raichur: Hope is interwoven into every positive human interaction. Without hope, It would be impossible to get out of bed in the morning, especially now. Hope is everything. Having said that, rather than wishing for an expedient return to ‘normalcy’, I’m hoping for change. A change of expectations from our own lives and what we hope to achieve in our careers.
“Who wouldn’t love to look into the future right now ? It’s anyone’s guess, when and how this is going to end. In the interim, the stillness pervades and I want to acknowledge how grateful I am for that quiet. I feel very fortunate to be able to tide things over with family, in comfortable dwellings and for being in a state of mind to concentrate on things other than the global pandemic. And for that I just want to express my sincere gratitude.” © Sameer Raichur
Feinstein: I get the sense that making this work helped you not only cope with isolation but also process your own vulnerability.
Raichur: Making the portraits of my friends really helped with this. After the lockdown ended in India, a few friends and I formed a social bubble. Over the course of a couple of months, I photographed them at their homes, and listening to their experiences in the lockdown put my own emotions into perspective and made me feel less isolated and vulnerable.
Feinstein: Thanks so much for your time, Sameer!